Sometimes, when we make mistakes, it can be much easier to simply brush them under the rug and gaslight everyone into thinking they never happened. This course of action did, of course, cross my mind in this case.
Ultimately, however, I have decided to own up and take responsibility for my (significant) transgression.
What’s rule 1 of using GPG? It’s keep your revocation certificate safe. And what’s rule 2 of using GPG? It’s keep your secret key safe. Unfortunately, due to a combination of stupidity and carelessness, I appear to have lost both of these.
I have since created a new keypair and have taken extra precautions to keep it safe.
My new key ID is:
I am unable to revoke my old key, but I have signed it with this one to at least hint at its trust and authenticity.
Don’t make these mistakes; they’re painful to clean up.